Canker

I have declared today Cancer day,or canker as I call it, counted 7 cases of canker today, what is it with these people, unless its canker it ain't worth having. If you joined up all the diseased areas every part of the body would be attacked by canker. What is it with this village? I fear for my life living and working here , is it the pylons or the water or is it just pay back for being so selfish and self obsessed. We got canker of the brain, lung, cock, tongue. Its in his balls , her skin and his too. One breast then the next, this gland and that gland riddled with it when they opened her up. From top to bottom but not as bad as my Bill when he had it.
I feel left out , no badge, I haven't lived until I've had the canker. Im crossing my fingers that I don't catch it from one of this lot. Bloody hell, all I wanted to do was sell nice cheese not end up with the big C
8 am. first canker today is a straight forward case of lungs , this is a new case so I've got a few months to go of this one. Then its an update on a little growth on the back that the Dr wants to have off on account of the history of skin canker. Only a week, never mind as long as we all keep our spirits up. Double breast on Thursday with a reconstruction Friday, soon be good as new, I thought they'd got the lot last time, sad its come back so quick.
Listening by the till, oh that's nothing mate , I had canker of the knob, went in to the GP on the Monday slicing my old boy open by the Wednesday , Oh it don't stop there mate, spread to me tongue. I wonder how that happened ?

Bit of a break , time for a cuppa tea and draw breath before brain tumour comes in for a slice of ham not too thick mind , got no pork and apple sausages ? Not today, got Sage. No fuck it. Sorry about your brain.

No more for a few hours, maybe I should put on a white coat and start charging. By midday Im bloody depressed , I look at all the moles on my arms watching for changes. Feel my balls just in case, nothing thank goodness. Men my age can be riddled with the stuff, thank fuck smoked, drank and ate shit all my life .

"Gotanybacca?" plenty for you mate !